Many of us carry around heaps of knowledge we worked our butts off to learn, yet never use. It sits there, ricocheting around our brains, taking up space it doesn't have to and providing us little to no utility. When's the last time you actually used the Pythagorean theorem?

Let it end! Let us fill ourselves with the informational embodiment of junk food: utterly unnecessary, a product of the modern world, and undeniably delicious.